I am having a bad morning. No sleep. Fretting.
We had a very civilised-on-behalf-of -our-newly-9-year-old-son meal out together - I booked our son's favourite restaurant and invited his father, all three kids and my ex husband's sister and her friend - who I always got on very well with and is lovely. I invited her to come when we bumped into her the day before - she lives out of town and had come up for the Hampton Court Flower Show and every time I see her she starts to cry. She can't bear the fact that we've split up. Anyway, it was good to have her with us last night and to catch up.
My ex husband called me just as I had got in to bed. "I'm just calling to let you know that I've invited my girlfriend on holiday with the children". I went quiet. "Well, thanks for letting me know but just be aware that it is going to go down really badly with our daughter". She already feels she doesn't get enough time just with him.
...and then I couldn't sleep, because sometime ago he told me that I couldn't go on safari with them because it wasn't appropriate and now he's invited his new girlfriend who happens to be Builder Bloke's ex wife to go with MY children to be with them on safari when that is all I want to do. I am so upset about it I can't even bear to think about it.
However, there is nothing I can do but try not to let the children know I"m upset so that their holiday isn't spoilt and I can't even really talk to Builder Bloke about how upset I am that another woman is going to be with my children because he is also going to be upset that his ex wife is going to be with my children.
God. What a bloody mess.
Still. It's all in the approach.
I need to do what his ex wife did when I met her for the first time. Give every impression that I am truly delighted that I am not having to go with my children on holiday and that I'll be having a far better time somewhere else.....
Yeah right.
Weird.
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10 comments:
How horrid and cruelly unfair. But you are right about the approach. Is there anything you've been longing to do that you can plan as a personal treat? It won't be the same as a family safari, but you do deserve it!
aaargh this reeeally sucks, babes. honestly. it's so hurtful. all round. seems you are taking more arrows than is neccessary...BIG hug XXX j
Are you sure we don't have the same ex-husband? He sounds so like mine - he has pulled very similar stunts with me. I understand how infuriating it is, especially when you don't want it to upset the children.
I'm sorry, try and get some decent sleep tonight. x
Oh Lord. That's crap, isn't it? Just because they no longer have the power to make you happy, doesn't mean they don't have the power to make you unhappy.
Try to keep your dignity. You'll know it's a complete facade, but everyone else will think you're amazing. And eventually, it will become a way of life.
And when the children return, they'll want a big hug from their mum, because there is only one of you.
Well, that's my experience of it, anyway.
Mad x
Well, and I shouldn't really be saying this, but if your daughter really will be upset about it, she doesn't have to go does she? I mean, I'm only saying....
...and if you tell BB, he'll tell her and..and...
Your daughter will be justifiably furious and upset and then behave really badly in an attention seeking way and he'll have to bend over backwards to appease and the girlfriend will get p***ed off and wish she'd never come!
Seriously tho' - it's just not fair on you or the children. How totally thoughtless and selfish of him. Bet his is only twice the length of his thumb!
What a horrible situation. I already dread ex swanning off on some exotic holiday with the boys with a new woman. I can't even imagine what it would be like if that new woman was the ex of my new man. No wonder you're pissed.
Dear girl, commented on your previous post - and meant that this makes me cry-- how much more do you have to take. Weird - as you say. M xxx
I feel your pain, really I do. Yes it's weird and yes, it sucks. But you are an amazing mum. And a gifted writer. Keep the faith. You go, girlfriend. x x x
Sounds a bit out of order to me, if he's said they're going on holiday alone that's what should be happening. I feel like he's let your kids down somewhat.
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